So, I disappeared off the internet for a whole week. Mostly because my best friend Caity is coming into town on Monday and so I’ ve been basically living on my cell phone talking to her since I found out. In the last entry I told you about my new cat. The thing is it didn’t really work out all that well because he kept fighting with my other cats so I ended up taking him back to his previous owners and going to the pound and getting 2 kittens. There names are Chloe and Max, Chloe is black and white, she’s 4 weeks old. And Max is grey and he’s 8 weeks. I only was going to get one but like my mom has been saying since I was really little I have this thing about seeing animals in need and wanting to take them home with me. I can’t ever go to the pound and only get one cat. I guess you could say I have a soft spot for animals and people in need. Charlie went home about 3 days after I had my miscarrage and me and him haven’t really talked since. I think maybe we really were only making it work for the sake of the baby and then when there wasn’t one anymore we just didn’t really have a reason to make it work anymore. It sucks but I guess God really does work in mysterious ways. But back on to the Caity coming down thing. Well I’m kind of helping her runaway you could say. You see me and her met at Job Corps and she’s only 17. Well her mother is to say the very least a bad mother. She’s been leaving her and her little brother Shane home by themselves since Caity was 10 and Shane was 6. And were not talking for an afternoon while she runs to the store no it’s entire weekends with little to no food and no car to get anywhere. And of course she lives in a really small town so in order to go anywhere to get food you have to have a car because the closest grocrey store is a town away. But anyways basically a couple of days ago Caity calls me and asks me if I’ll send her $130 for a bus ticket from Arkansas to Oklahoma. I told her I would money gram it to her on Thursday when I got paid. So she told her mom she is coming out here for a week to visit but after the week she is going to call her mom and tell her that she’s decided that she’s not going to come back. And according to the many cops both me and her have asks she can’t make her come back because she’s so close to her 18th birthday. I don’t know if the cops where only telling us what we wanted to hear or not or if they were really telling us the truth. I mean I know my sister Margaret ranaway when she was 2 months past 17 and they told my dad there was’t a thing he could do about it when it came to making her come back. I don’t know I just hope I don’t get into trouble with the law when in truth I was only trying to help my best friend out of an 17 year long bad situation. It’s not like this is the first time she’s ranaway. She took off for New york when she was 15 but because of her age they made her come back after 5 months when they finally did figure out she went to one of the few places that felt like home to her. She even told me on the phone this morning that Oklahoma really does feel like home to her, because of all the people who really care about her here. Anyways that’s the update for now.
One Way Bus Ticket From Arkansas To Oklahoma
July 5, 2008 at 2:36 am (Friends for life, Life)
Tags: 17, 5 months on the run, arkansas, bad situation, Caity, Charlie, helping her, oklahoma, oneway bus ticket, runaway
Nervous Breakdown?
June 25, 2008 at 6:05 pm (Life)
Tags: anger, brothers, Caity, Charlie, dad, family reunion, health conditons, mom, nervous breakdown, sisters
Ok, so I yesterday I went totally biserk. I thought I had finally gotten a handle on my emotions and then suddenly it was like a ton of bricks hit me all at once. I just decided I couldn’t take it anymore. Between my mom, Charlie and Caity I end up hearing the phrase their is nothing you could have done to stop it at least 1000 times a day. So, after about 100 times yesterday I totally went off on my mom. i just don’t get why they are all so worried about me because yesterday I was doing just fine until they kept saying that it wasn’t my fault and that there wasn’t anything I could do to stop it from happening. But anyways, the doctor said I may have had a complete nervous breakdown from being under so much stress and everything, which I wouldn’t doubt. On, a lighter note, it looks like the annual family reunion in august is going to go off without a hitch this year. For the last couple of years at least half of my brothers and sisters haven’t been showing up because they’re mad at either my mom or my dad. Some of them it doesn’t seem like they will every really get over it and have only been showing up because of the fact that my dad’s health is in such bad condition no one really noes how much longer he has. Anyways, that’s the update for now. I have to go get some sleep, because I’m totally burnt out from not sleeping lately.
A very sad day
June 23, 2008 at 9:54 am (Life, Saddness)
Tags: baby, Charlie, Lexington, miscarrage
So I went to the ER yesterday because I’ve been having really bad cramps. I only went because my mom and Charlie wouldn’t shut up about it. I told them it was probably no big deal but I would go anyways just to make them happy. Well the dr. wouldn’t tell me anything for about an hour, all of this time I’m of course freaking out because they wouldn’t tell me anything. Well when they finally did get around to telling me anything, the look on the drs. face spoke a 1000 words before he even said one. I was such a reck on the phone when I called Charlie to tell him about my miscarrage that he drove all the way from Lexington just to make sure I was ok. He even appoligized for everything, and said that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to break up. I told him I would have to think about it when I could actually think straight again. Well me and him went for a long drive after that to basically clear our heads. I told him that I felt like it was my fault because I never really wanted the baby. He just said that it’s not my fault and that we may never know what caused it, and to just leave it up to everything happens in life for a reason. Even though I didn’t really want the baby it feels like I’ve lost a piece of myself that I can never get back. Well that’s the update for now.
Hello World!!
June 19, 2008 at 10:20 am (Life)
Tags: apartment, Charlie, father, first child, grandparents, hundred miles, job corps, john, march 26th, OKC, pregnant, single, stress, texas, welcome
Hey everyone in the wordpress world. I started writing a long time ago but with all stress caused from my current situation of being 19, single and 3 months pregnant with my first child, I have decided that I am going to go to the world wide web and write in a more public place with more viewers. I’m not like some people who get pregnant at my age I do know who my babys father is. His name is Charles and me and him dated while I was at job corps. Well I left job corps back on march 26th. Me and him did, like a lot of people who are looking at being hundreds of miles apart do. We promised each other that no matter what we would stay together. Well when I left job corps because I was leaving as a completer I left with over 500 dollars and I decided to send a bus ticket to one of my friends who was homeless and needed a way out in Texas. Well I sent him the ticket and my parents agreed that he could stay with us and crash on our couch until he saved up the money to get his own place. Well when he got here he had a lot of problems finding a job and when he did finally find one it was minanim wage and he was looking at staying with us for a while before he could save up the money for an apt. Well about this time was a couple of weeks after I left and me and Charles were still going strong but when I passed the idea of renting a two bedroom apt and splitting the rent with John. Well to say the very least he went balistic saying it would be so wrong. Well we ended up breaking up because of it. Well since this happened my friend John has moved to OKC to see if he can find a better paying job there and I was starting to think everything was going really good in my life with the new job and the new friends and everything. When suddenly I realize that I’ve missed 2 periods and hadn’t even noticed it until now. Well a couple of days later I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I didn’t really want to face the fact that I was pregnant because then it would mean I would have to break the news to Charles because he was the only person who could be the father. Well I went to the doctor and was also told the same thing and that I was about a 2 months along at the time. Well it took me a while to finally come to terms with this but I left like a billion messages with Charles’ grandparents and told them to have him call me back because it was important. Well it took him a couple of weeks to finally get around to calling me back and when I broke the news to him he basically said it wasn’t his but after explaining that it had to be and how far along i was and everything he finally said ok. Well it’s been about a month since all of this has happened I’m pretty much gotten used to be pregnant and me and Charles are at least talking to each other now. I’m working all the time and so is he but were trying for the sake of our unborn child to make this work some how. I guess from everything that I have said it would sound as though my life is totally out of wack but the truth is it might be and it might not be because I’m just going with whatever happens happens because if i don’t I will got totally insane and need drugs or something to make me sane again. Well thats the update for now. If you want to read some more about my learning that i was pregnant you can read about it at my diaryland journal!!
