August 3, 2009 at 3:02 am (Happiness, Life, Work)
Tags: college, growing up, happily ever after, Life, new job, sec. educ, sub teacher
So, starting Aug. 12th I will have a new job as a subsitute teacher for Ponca City Public Schools. And starting Aug 24th I will be taking night classes in Secondary Edu. at the local community college. So maybe I was wrong about a few things in the past year. Like me thinking I would have to go back to job corps to get my life back to where I wanted it. I didn’t but there’s a lot still missing that would make me have the perfect life. But I’m not striving for perfect, I just want happiness. It does seem kind of wierd to me though that just as I am figuring my life out career and education wise all of my friends are finding happily-ever after. It makes me feel kind of left out, because I don’t know if I will ever meet the right guy or not. But I guess I’ll meet him when I’m suppose to, because my mom is right about one thing for sure. You have to learn to love yourself for who you are before you can expect someone to love you. I’m finally at a place in my life where I love myself and wouldn’t change for someone, just because they promise me happiness and love. Because they either have to love me for who I am or not at all. This is why my best friend says I’ll never find true happiness, because I expect too much of the male species. But I don’t think so, I don’t think she gives them enough credit. Either that or she just hasn’t met a gueninly nice guy before. It’s wierd but it seems like I shoud have done most of my growing up before I turned 18. But it seems to me that most of the growing up I have done has been in the past 3 year between 18 and 21 with most of that being in the past year. My mom always told me that I would figure life out for myself one of these days but I don’t really think i have. I just think that a few things have started to make a whole lot more sense to me. Because there really are a lot of things I still don’t understand most of the things that happen or for that matter have happened in my life. But hey at least I am trying and I have gotten some where. Wish me luck of figuring out the rest of the stuff, because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need it.
Sad part about all the growing up I have done in the last year is I didn’t even know I had done it until now, or for that matter that I even need to grow up some more. Maybe life will start taking a turn for the better for me from now on. But who knows maybe all this good stuff that’s been happening is only to prepare me for something bad horrible in the future. Let’s hope not.
- Sasha <3
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April 28, 2009 at 3:18 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: job corps, college, iraq, job, good girl, complications, puppies, bambi, osu-okc, Randy, Worried
Sorry for not updating for 2 weeks but I really do have a very good excuse. Like I told you in the last update with the massive complications dealing with going back to Job Corps I decided to go back to college. Well I really don’t want it to turn out like it did the last time with me not even making it through the first semester. It will help that this isn’t Vo-Tech it’s actual college this time so now immature high school students to deal with but still I’m not looking for it to be anything but stressful. Well other than that, my sister moved back to Oklahoma after spending 2 years in Missississpi because of her husband getting laid off from his job. Hope it all works out for them. I’m also really starting to worry about my friend Randy because he hasn’t written me back in a almost a week and he’s usually really good about that. The only reason I worry so much about him is because he’s stationed in Iraq right now and you never really know what could happen to him. Keeping him in my prays because that’s all I really can do. Oh yeah you guys don’t know about that. Since I started on my crusade to become the good-girl I once was I have found my love for God back. Not sure where it went really but it just kind of dispeared when I went to Job Corps. I mean don’t get me wrong I never actually stopped believing in him I just kind of stopped trusting that he would only throw stuff at me that I could handle. I’m must doing pretty well one the crusade because I’ve had repeative friends ask me if I was body-snatched with someone because I’m not the Sasha they once knew. And all I usually tell them is who ever said being a different person was such a bad thing. Considering where I was in my life two years ago I would have to say that being different person has gotten pretty far and I’m really glad that I finally got my wake up call that I didn’t want to be that kind of person forever. Because I’m pretty sure had I not gotten that wake up call I wouldn’t have had a real reason to stop being that kind of person because I had gotten so used to being said person that I had started to block out how bad it made me feel. Anyways I pretty sure my mom’s glad too because there sure is a whole lot less fighting and arguing going on in my house these days. Mostly because my sister trys to start them and I’ve learned that with her you just have to walk away because she won’t back down. Oh one thing I forgot to tell you about college is that I’m taking a 2 week course this summer at OSU-OKC starting May 18th so if I sort of disapear again my appoligys and I promise to update you as quickly as possible. Anyways, not much else is going on right now, expect that I’m dealing with way too many dogs right now because my dog Bambi had a litter of puppies yesterday. They’re so cute but I’m trying not to get attached because I know we can’t keep any of them because we are already over the city pet limit as it is. Anyways, update as soon as I can.
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April 6, 2009 at 6:08 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: break up, college, dustin, get back together, guthrie, happens, job corps, library, talequah, whatever happens
So I ended up waiting on Friday at the libabry waiting on the Job Corps woman until around 10:30 then I finally got her to call me back. She said something along the lines of she forgot to call me on Thursday to tell me that Guthrie isn’t taking Re-Admits right now because it’s just too full. So filling out the papers would just be a HUGE waste of time. Well she also went on to tell me that they have something like a six month waiting list to get in once they do start taking re-admits again. And that I could call on of the other Job Corps in Oklahoma if I wanted to. Well truthfully the closest one that is taking re-admits right now is in Talequah and that like 165 miles from here. So I got to looking around, and I found a way that I can get my CNA for free so that I can work and afford to pay for a semester of college til I can get my finacial aid back. I guess you could say that I really didn’t want to put my dreams of being a social worker on the back burner forever. Which I know that if I went back to job corps and took another trade in the end I wouldn’t ever go back to college and I wouldn’t ever live my dreams. It’s just not worth it. Anyways, Dustin has been constintly calling me for the last couple of days. I guess he never really got over me and the whole break up thing. Last night he asked me to go back out with him, well I told him that I would think about it and get back to him. Well the truth is I’m a very strong believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I know in my heart that it wasn’t meant to be. Because if it was then we never would have broken up in the first place. It kind of goes the same way for the whole job corps thing. If I was supposed to happen then it would have. Anyways, that’s all for now.
-Sasha
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October 24, 2008 at 10:26 pm (Life)
Tags: job corps, college, update, ms fruits, finding a job, long time
So it’s been a bit sense I have wrote an actually update…
Basically, when I messed up my foot last month, they didn’t want to give me a month leave (at least this is what I assume) because when I called the finacial aid women (Ms. Fruits) to ask her when she wanted me to go up there and sign the papers, she said she would get back to me and then the next thing I know I get a call from another women (who works in the attendence department) telling me they were dropping me for lack of attendance, when I had only missed two days before I called her letting her know what was going on. Basically this means that before I can get finacal aid again i will have to pay for a semester of school. Which I can’t afford to do. So I have been trying to find a job, which has been very unsuccessful. I have come to a very BIG conculusion, since I cant go back to job corps until march, then thats how long I am giving myself to find a job, if I dont then I’m gonna go back and take another trade. Its gonna be hard and Im very prepared for this. But I have to do it.
Anyways, that’s the update for now.
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August 20, 2008 at 5:33 am (Life)
Tags: job corps, mom, dad, sister, college, super busy, school, books, high school, thinking, feel bad, health problems, sooner or later, disability, little brother, 20 yrs. old, less then a month, 2 bags, back killing me, financal aid, 90% attendance rate, missed class, independance, job hunt, disfunctional, drama filled
Ok, So I missed class yesterday because I’m really sick. Problem is I can’t keep missing because I have to keep a 90% attendance rate because of my financal aid. I’m going to class today. But my back is killing me because of all the books. I have 2 bags I carry around all day. I’m not one to grap but they get pretty heavy considering one is a good 3 inches thick. I’ve been super busy keeping up on homework that I haven’t really had time to continue on my job hunt. I mean my mom will let me stay at home as long as I want. I just want my independance away from my huge disfunctional drama filled family. I know they would all understand. I mean I’ll be 20 yrs. old in less then a month it’s my own right to want to be on my own. I guess in a way I feel bad about wanting to leave because of the health problems by dad has and my sister has and all the help my mom needs with them and my little brother because of his disability. But I have to leave some time sooner or later. They all have to have known it was bond to happen sooner or later. I just want it to be sooner. Anyways, I’m really starting to get to know the other people in class with me, and they all seem like really good people. I just keep being reminded that college is nothing like high school or job corps or even both of them put together. Anyways, that’s the update for now.
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August 16, 2008 at 11:36 pm (Life)
Tags: admin leave, AWOL, books, college, dont understand it, emergancy leave, Friends, high school, info, job corps, Life, medical leave, nice people, school, update
So, I started school on Thursday. It’s pretty much what I excpected except for I have to go buy books on Monday and one of the books we use all year cost around $90 and another one costs $87. It’s times like these that I’m very thankful that I have financal aid and don’t have to pay for books. I met some really nice people that are in class with me. I’m just glad college is nothing like job corps or high school. Which I guess would be one in the same because job corps is like high school, except for it’s 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. It’s stressful, and they used to have something to help that called stress leave but when I was there they decided that people we abusing it saying they needed to leave because of stress just to find a way out of job corps. Now they only have the usual Medical Leave and something called Admistrative Leave, which you don’t want to be on. It’s the one where you don’t choose to go on leave. If you get into really bad trouble and they send you home while they decide what to do with you, it’s basically the high school eqivelant of suspension, and they also have emergancy leave, which you only get if you have a family emergancy or someone in your imediate family dies. Plus they have AWOL, Absent without leave, it basically means what it says you left without getting permisson from anyone. You can only get 3 Awols in a row before they terminate you or you can get something like 15 in a year in 1 or 2 day incramintes. I know the rules don’t make a whole lot of sense, and even if you send as much time there as I did, you’ll still never understand why they have some of them, you just follow them anyways. Anyways, that’s the update for now.
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August 13, 2008 at 4:17 am (Friends for life, Life)
Tags: Caity, chris p, college, cowboy, danielle, everythings changed, jeremy, job corps, robin, unexpected phone call
So, I start school in a couple of days and I’ve yet to find another job. On a brighter note, I got a suprising phone call a couple of days ago from Robin, one of my good friends from job corps. I hadn’t talked to her in a long time and I found out why. She left job corps a couple of months ago and until a couple days ago she had lost my phone number. But she said that she found it when she finally unpacked the rest of her stuff from when she left job corps. She only lives about 20 or 30 miles from me, which I knew but she said she’s tired of living with her mom but that she’s just like me and can’t really afford to move out. She asked me if I wanted to save money up and rent an apartment with her because it would be easier for both of us if we only had to spilt the bills. Plus she wants to go to the college her in Ponca but she can’t afford to drive back and forth everyday. I told that it sounded like a good idea, because ever since I had my miscarrige my mom treats me different. I’m not sure why she just does. It’s weird but everything has been changing more over the last couple of weeks then it did the entire year i was at job corps. Me and Caity were best friends when I left job corps back in March but every since I told her mom about what she had been planning she just kind of stopped acting like me and her are best friends. I knew when I told her mom that she was gonna be mad for a little bit but I thought she would get over it eventually. I guess she still might it just changed things I guess. Jeremy finally got a girlfriend and lost his major crush on Caity, not saying this change is bad, actually it’s a good thing because I’ve been working on getting him to lose it for months. Hardly ever even talk to Danielle and Cowboy, it’s probably because they’re so busy with work and everything. Me and Robin are better friends now then we were at job corps. I mean when she first got there we were really good friends, then she dated Chris and it changed everything, because it got me to thinking, what kind of a friend would date your ex-boyfriend and not even tell you. She promised me she would never date any of my ex’s and it just kinda hurt to have her break a promise to me. It actually hurt more then the fact that I wasn’t exactly over Chris at the time that she dated him. What’s wierd is now that both of us are soo over him. He’s the one inside joke me and her have that none of our other friends would ever understand. Me and her are the only two girl’s at job corps who understand because in order to understand it you would have to have dated Chris P. It’s wierd that the one thing that almost cost us our friendship is the one thing we laugh about the most now. Anyways, that’s the update for now.
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August 3, 2008 at 12:04 am (Friends for life, Life, Work)
Tags: army, Caity, college, find new job, part-time, so not gonna happen, super busy
Sorry about not updating..but with school fixing to start I have been really busy. I also have to find another job because Sykes didn’t want to work around the fact that in less then 2 weeks I go back to school, WHICH means I have to go part-time. I guess it made them made. To make a very long story short, they pointed me out even though I hadn’t missed any days. So, looking for another job has added more onto the normal busyness that I would have right before school started. Anyways, Caity has it stuck in her head that her mom is going to sign the papers so that she can join the army in 4 months which would be about 3 months before she turns 18, which me knowing how her mom is, she may say that she will now but in four months it is SO not going to happen, she is just saying what she thinks Caity wants to hear, in order for her to be quite about her making her go back to school in college. Anyways, my mom and me went clothes shopping yesterday and ended up spending roughly $300. Not saying we don’t shop a lot but I totally think we went way over board. She’s just uber excited because I’m one of the few people in my family to actually go to college. I guess it’s kind of suprising in a way, that is if you don’t know much about how the people in my family work. Anyways, this the update for now. I’ll try and update more often…
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