Sorry for not updating for 2 weeks but I really do have a very good excuse. Like I told you in the last update with the massive complications dealing with going back to Job Corps I decided to go back to college. Well I really don’t want it to turn out like it did the last time with me not even making it through the first semester. It will help that this isn’t Vo-Tech it’s actual college this time so now immature high school students to deal with but still I’m not looking for it to be anything but stressful. Well other than that, my sister moved back to Oklahoma after spending 2 years in Missississpi because of her husband getting laid off from his job. Hope it all works out for them. I’m also really starting to worry about my friend Randy because he hasn’t written me back in a almost a week and he’s usually really good about that. The only reason I worry so much about him is because he’s stationed in Iraq right now and you never really know what could happen to him. Keeping him in my prays because that’s all I really can do. Oh yeah you guys don’t know about that. Since I started on my crusade to become the good-girl I once was I have found my love for God back. Not sure where it went really but it just kind of dispeared when I went to Job Corps. I mean don’t get me wrong I never actually stopped believing in him I just kind of stopped trusting that he would only throw stuff at me that I could handle. I’m must doing pretty well one the crusade because I’ve had repeative friends ask me if I was body-snatched with someone because I’m not the Sasha they once knew. And all I usually tell them is who ever said being a different person was such a bad thing. Considering where I was in my life two years ago I would have to say that being different person has gotten pretty far and I’m really glad that I finally got my wake up call that I didn’t want to be that kind of person forever. Because I’m pretty sure had I not gotten that wake up call I wouldn’t have had a real reason to stop being that kind of person because I had gotten so used to being said person that I had started to block out how bad it made me feel. Anyways I pretty sure my mom’s glad too because there sure is a whole lot less fighting and arguing going on in my house these days. Mostly because my sister trys to start them and I’ve learned that with her you just have to walk away because she won’t back down. Oh one thing I forgot to tell you about college is that I’m taking a 2 week course this summer at OSU-OKC starting May 18th so if I sort of disapear again my appoligys and I promise to update you as quickly as possible. Anyways, not much else is going on right now, expect that I’m dealing with way too many dogs right now because my dog Bambi had a litter of puppies yesterday. They’re so cute but I’m trying not to get attached because I know we can’t keep any of them because we are already over the city pet limit as it is. Anyways, update as soon as I can.
Craziness
April 28, 2009 at 3:18 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: job corps, college, iraq, job, good girl, complications, puppies, bambi, osu-okc, Randy, Worried
Job Corps…College…Unexpectedness!
April 6, 2009 at 6:08 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: break up, college, dustin, get back together, guthrie, happens, job corps, library, talequah, whatever happens
So I ended up waiting on Friday at the libabry waiting on the Job Corps woman until around 10:30 then I finally got her to call me back. She said something along the lines of she forgot to call me on Thursday to tell me that Guthrie isn’t taking Re-Admits right now because it’s just too full. So filling out the papers would just be a HUGE waste of time. Well she also went on to tell me that they have something like a six month waiting list to get in once they do start taking re-admits again. And that I could call on of the other Job Corps in Oklahoma if I wanted to. Well truthfully the closest one that is taking re-admits right now is in Talequah and that like 165 miles from here. So I got to looking around, and I found a way that I can get my CNA for free so that I can work and afford to pay for a semester of college til I can get my finacial aid back. I guess you could say that I really didn’t want to put my dreams of being a social worker on the back burner forever. Which I know that if I went back to job corps and took another trade in the end I wouldn’t ever go back to college and I wouldn’t ever live my dreams. It’s just not worth it. Anyways, Dustin has been constintly calling me for the last couple of days. I guess he never really got over me and the whole break up thing. Last night he asked me to go back out with him, well I told him that I would think about it and get back to him. Well the truth is I’m a very strong believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I know in my heart that it wasn’t meant to be. Because if it was then we never would have broken up in the first place. It kind of goes the same way for the whole job corps thing. If I was supposed to happen then it would have. Anyways, that’s all for now.
-Sasha
Complications of the late…
March 30, 2009 at 3:04 am (Friends for life, Life)
Tags: Caity, job corps, Friends, jeremy, dustin, good girl, bad girl, complications, david
So life has gotten a little bit more complicated for me..Dustin one of my recent ex’s has been trying to get me back. Now I have tried the whole explaining that I’m leaving in two weeks to go back to job corps and I don’t really want to be tied down to anyone back home. But he just pulls the whole well I’m going back in August when my year is up. It came down to me out right telling him that the main reason I broke up with him back in January was because he loved me more than I loved him. Because in truth I was in love with the idea of happily ever after not him. And that I am on this new found road of becoming the good girl that has been trapped inside me for all these years. He said that he was okay with just being friends but I know that in his heart he is just saying it’s better than nothing. Anyways, once that was over with and he was semi-okay with just being friends. My best friend Caity trys to set me up with my other best friend Jeremy. No don’t get me wrong I have had a thing for him since I’ve known him but Jer doesn’t like me like that. He has always had a thing for Caity and I’m fine with it. Then tonight she was proceeding to try and set me up with my good friend Dave. Now me and Dave tried to date once. It lasted a mear 3 days because it just got to awkward. We are way too much alike. Outgoing, Crazy, Random, Music Obsessed Individuals, stuck in suburbia. It makes mine and his friendship more of a brother sisterly thing. We both care cheer each other up no matter how bad the day has been and I have to say that I don’t think I would have survived Job corps the first time without him. Anyways, on to other news. I now have a new found appriciation for the good girl that has been hidden deep inside me for all these years. Back at the beginning of the year I told myself that I was going to make a five year plan to be a good person before 25. Well I can say that I have cut out the whole being revenge master with my bff caity. But like my mom said it’s gonna take a while before I’m totally back to good girl. And that I can’t do it for anyone but myself. And I’m not I’m just tired of being the bad girl. The one who is always in trouble for one thing or another. The one that everyone stays happy at because she is known as the revenge master of the group. And that if someone hurts one of my friends/family they better be prepared to mess with me too. Well I have warned all of my friends that I don’t plan on ever being that person again. And as far as I can see now, most of them are okay with it. Caity, Jer, and Dave are actually proud of me. Well actually Dave says he never knew that I had a bad side. And I told him that’s because he brings out that best in me. But I don’t know anymore. I’m working on the not cursing at people right now. Which is my hardest task because it has become a horrible habit over the last couple of years. But I’m getting better. Anyways, that’s it for now. Update more later.
Little update..
March 27, 2009 at 3:21 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: job corps
So not much has really happened…Me and Justin broke up a couple of days after he left for job corps on the 10th…Not real sure what happened other than he wanted to date some welder chick there..No mind you that the welder’s at job corps are well known to be players even the few girls that are in the trade…and I can see it ending badly and him trying to get me back…But this time I decided that in truth I have to learn to pick my boyfriends better…and also that I don’t want to be attached to anything or anyone in Ponca because I want to be able to leave town and go back to job corps without having to have a constient reminder of my previous life and the many bad deeds that I have done. I mean of course my family will still know about them but my family is a little bit less likely to remind me of them every chance they get…I want to be able to make friends that don’t know about the way I acted when I was there the first time and I mean the thing with Justin is because he has known me my whole life he could tell them and remind me of the stupid stuff I pulled as a teenager that I know better than to repeat now. Anyways, I called the admissions woman for job corps and set up and interview to fill out papers at 10 am on the 3rd..I will keep you guys updated on it…Anyways, That’s all for now.
-Sasha
Long time no update…
March 14, 2009 at 3:23 am (Life)
Tags: arkansas, back from cali, bordom, Caity, jeremy, job corps, justin, life in general, long time no update, not much to talk about, OKC, update as promised
Sorry about not updating such a long time. I just havent really had much to blog about. Life in general has been pretty boring for me. I basically waiting out the last couple of weeks until I can put my application back in to go back to job corps. I did call the women a couple of weeks ago just to make sure that I actually could go back considering that I didn’t leave on the best of terms with the disiplinary people. And she said that everything she be ready to that she just can’t put my information back in as a reenrollment until the 27th. Which is the day after my one year. Oh, as I promised in the last blog to keep you guys updated on the whole me and justin thing. I will as promised. Basically I she know better than to post that kind of stuff on the internet because I guess he got bored one day and was reading my blog and saw his name meantioned and wanted to see what I had to say about him. Now it’s not like he didn’t know about my crush on him because he did just like I knew about his on me. It’s just like I said so complicated that we always thought that the complicatedness of it made it just not worth it. Well in the end we decided to give it a chance, see where it goes. Anyways, he left to go to job corps on tuesday. At the moment I can’t call him because as usual his cell phone is out of minutes. And he hasn’t been online since he got there. But I know how busy the first week can be so I’m not really suprised. This weekend he will probably get online. Plus he hasn’t even called his Dad and he usually does. If I get super worried about him I’ll call the office phone for dorm 26. Other than that it will be much easier once I’m on campus with him. Anyways other than that my bestie Caity went back to Arkansas today. And my other bestie Jermey went back to OKC. Caity was going to come down and live in OKC after she turned 18 in a couple of weeks but she got into college there, so she isn’t anymore. Now I don’t blame her and I’m really proud that she got into college. Jeremy on the other hand is really mad that she changed the plans. It doesn’t help that Jeremy has a huge crush on her and thought that by getting her in his hometown it would make it easier or something not really sure. He says its just because he wants the three muskateers back together for the first time in a year, but i don’t know. Anyways, that’s all for now.
Interesting Turn of Events
February 21, 2009 at 2:39 am (Friends for life, Life)
Tags: best friend, crush, happily ever after, interesting turn of events, job corps, justin, love, mr. right
As some of you may know. That is the few of you who have my myspace or myyearbook. I have finally made my decison about going back to job corps in April when my year is up. Believe me it was not something I was wanting to do. But in the end it came down too. How many second chances do people really get in life. And if this is something that I have to do in order for me finally to take control of my own life then its gonna have to be done. At one point I thought I had mr. right but then he turned out to be mr. oh so wrong, as has happened oh so many times before. I’m actually tired of this happening. I want my happily ever after and sooner rather than later.But then again I have also had an interesting turn of events in the last couple of days. Just as I was coming to the conculison that I really was going to go back. One of my best friends since forever desicded that he is going to go to job corps. Now mind you I hadn’t told anyone except my immediate family that I was even thinking about going back so I know that it doesn’t have anything to do with me. But it is intresting that this perticular friend is also the one that I have been crushing on since like 3rd grade. And I know he has been crushing on me for a while too. Just not so sure what either one of us is ready to do about it because of the whole complicatedness of mine and his families. You see his Dad has been with my older sister for 15 years since she was 18. Well this is actually how me and him became friends but also because his grandma and my mom were best friends until she died back in 2001 but thats a whole other story. Anyways, his half brothers are my nephews well of course as everyone including my mom and sister have told me there isn’t anything wrong with it if we were to date because we aren’t blood related we aren’t even related by marriage because his dad and my sister haven’t gotten around do doing that yet. Now while I do tell most everyone that he is just my best friend and nothing else. It’s totally not true. I don’t really know how to explain how I feel about him because it’s not something I have ever felt before. And also because in truth I don’t want to ruin another great friendship with a relationship because I have done that way too many times for my own likeing. Plus I also know from personal experience that I fall in love way too easy and way too fast. I don’t know. I guess this will just have to be one of those wait and see kind of things. Never know maybe we are meant to be. Everyone always says that you fall in love with your best friend and it lasts forever. Who knows what life really has in store for us. It’s all just a waiting game. Anyways just thought I would get this off my chest since I can’t sleep and all. Promise to keep you updated on the current love life situation and the current job corps going back in progress situation as it panes out.
Confusing Week..
February 17, 2009 at 10:07 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: 11 months since left, business, culinary arts, ged, health occupations, job corps, no go on sykes job
So I thought I pretty much had my job back at Sykes they said that everything was pretty much just a formality. But in the end I didn’t get it and the real big problem now is that all the skills that I have are in Business and there are no business jobs here in Ponca and because of other more personal reasons I can’t leave town right now. So what I have been thinking of doing is going back to job corps to take another trade. There are a whole lot of health jobs around this town. So I have been thinking even though I was going to take Culinary Arts if I went back I was thinking of taking Health Occupations. Mostly because its just as hard to find a culinary job as it is a business job so I wouldn’t really be solving much. Anyways, I still have a month and if I do find a job before then I won’t go back. But this is the second time I have come to this conculsion in the 11 months that I have been out of job corps. It just seems like all I really left with was my GED because I can’t use the certificate in business that I got. Anyways, I’ll try to update more often then I have been lately but i’m not too sure how successful I am gonna be because this isn’t the first time as most of you know that I have said that. Anyways, thats the update for now.
Drama?!
November 12, 2008 at 9:09 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: job corps, christina, drama, panic attack, ex-boyfriend, cpo
Ok, let me just start out saying that in the last couple of days I have had a grand total of two panic attacks. They have both been caused by my some what annoying friend Christina. Who is still at job corps but seems to think that her physco ex-boyfriend can bring a gun on to federal property..I know that a lot of you guys only know about job corps what I have told you in previous posts, so let me just tell you that they are sort of like a gated community. They have security that you have to get past just to go in and you aren’t aloud past the front gate unless you are a trainee or you have some other reason to be there. Anyways, Dustin (her ex) has been sending me and her threatening emails on myspace telling us that he’s gonna get onto job corps campus and hurt her. He doesn’t use those words exactly but when someone meantions no witness’s and a bringing a gun you can kind of get the picture of what they plan on doing. I mean I told her just to tell CPO (center protection) and they wouldn’t let him anywhere near her and that if he did happen to show up then they would call the cops on him.
Anyways, it makes me feel better just having gotten that out in the open. What I don’t get is why I have been having panic attacks when I was under more stress when I was at job corps and never had any problems with anything like this. But its also like I told my mom I was talking to the campus physciatrist once a week the whole time I was there. They didn’t make me or anything it just made my time there so much easier by doing that. I think about that maybe it has nothing to do with the situation of my friend and everything to do with me being stuck here until march because I have to wait out the year. I don’t know it just seems like the older I get the more complicated life gets and the faster every day seems to pass me by.
Life…
October 24, 2008 at 10:26 pm (Life)
Tags: job corps, college, update, ms fruits, finding a job, long time
So it’s been a bit sense I have wrote an actually update…
Basically, when I messed up my foot last month, they didn’t want to give me a month leave (at least this is what I assume) because when I called the finacial aid women (Ms. Fruits) to ask her when she wanted me to go up there and sign the papers, she said she would get back to me and then the next thing I know I get a call from another women (who works in the attendence department) telling me they were dropping me for lack of attendance, when I had only missed two days before I called her letting her know what was going on. Basically this means that before I can get finacal aid again i will have to pay for a semester of school. Which I can’t afford to do. So I have been trying to find a job, which has been very unsuccessful. I have come to a very BIG conculusion, since I cant go back to job corps until march, then thats how long I am giving myself to find a job, if I dont then I’m gonna go back and take another trade. Its gonna be hard and Im very prepared for this. But I have to do it.
Anyways, that’s the update for now.
Still haven’t gotten a call back…
October 10, 2008 at 11:16 pm (Life)
Tags: job corps, life altering, no call
So, I called the outreach and admissions office for job corps that’s here in ponca a couple of days ago…
But all I got was the women answering machine….
And what has she done…
She hasn’t even called me back to see what it was I called about…
I told my mom that if she didn’t call me back today (which she didn’t) that on Monday I’m gonna call up to job corps and talk to Ms. Short….
Because she is CTS (Career Transition Specialist) for Finance and Business, which makes her my CTS…
So I know that she will answer my phone call, and I will ask her if there is any way I can come back before my year wait is over…
And that if there isn’t is there any way they can put me on the list to go back on March 31, which is the Tuesday after my year, which would be the sooniest I could go back if I have to wait the year.
I don’t see why they would make me wait when the only reason they usually do is because they want you to be able to go back without the stigma of your previous job corps experience.
But since almost everyone is gone that was there when I was, even if I went back early know one would know the kind of person I was the first time.
Anyways, I have been trying to explain for the last couple of days to my mom why it is that I need to go back to job corps and do it right this time, she just doesn’t understand that sometimes I don’t know why I have to do something, just that it has to be done…
Or else it will result in life altering consquences. But then again, I guess you could say either way it is going to result in a life altering situation. But not going will be a bad situation and going will be a good situation…
Anyways, that’s the update for now.
